While you’re reading these lines, so many things happen in other places across the globe. Events of significance beyond your wildest dreams and mishaps of so little importance it will boggle your mind. In the following pages, though, lie the other stories. The proprieties that did not occur, that you, unknowing reader cannot even start to comprehend their consequence. The next three anecdotes tell the tale of the most important un-events in human history: The tragedy of the past, the misfortunate present and the blessing of the future. Sit back and enjoy.
It was dusk and the sky was painted dark purple and the light high cloud reflected what remained of the cherry sun. The air was humid, as if you swam in a warm pool. A cry was heard across the valley and a pack of small African children followed an older one as he ran toward the main tent. The English professor came out to investigate what was wrong. The child grabbed her white sleeve and pulled, as If guiding her somewhere. ‘He wants us to come, Jack. Ask him what did he find.’ Her husband came out from the tent, too, a pink handkerchief dipped with sweat, in his hand. After a short conversation with the excited youth he turned to his wife. ‘He found some more bones. Different, he says. Near the cave in the north. I think we should go. I know it’s late, but he says something about wings. It’s worth looking into.’ The professor grabbed her gear and, accompanied by an enthusiastic crowd, they marched north. After a twenty minutes’ walk, and two liters of bodily fluids, they reached the cave. The child pointed to a part of it they hadn’t reached yet. There was a rubble of cave stones there, as though some sort of collapse has occurred, and underneath it they saw, with the aid of a good flash, wanting eyes and a vivid imagination, what was a skeleton of a wing. Immediately the professor started to work, moving the stones that covered the rest of the remains. Excitement and surprise building up inside them, the couple worked there for hours. Only when the sun peeked from the horizon did they stop to rest. They looked at their discovery and rejoiced. Not a word changed between them for hours, but now it all burst. Each spat theories from hell to heaven and back again. Some absurd, some ludicrous and some even more, but the evidence was there, unquestionable and admirable to the extreme. What they saw was the skeleton of a baby hominid with a pair of fully developed wings. The next days were mad as hell. They photographed it from every angle possible, thrice. After detailed digital, analog and personal recordings of the event, they dug the bones out to examine it more carefully. Every archeological data was extracted; every physiological and anatomical information was processed and computed. ‘It’s true, then,’ the English professor sobbed, comprehending the full significance of their unfortunate discovery. ‘Yes. We had it then, lost it, and will never truly have it again’ her husband commented as he read the press release:
‘SIX months ago an English archeologist has discovered what was, probably, the most important finding of the century. It was the skeleton of a fully developed, probably intelligent flying man. It had a normal hominid size and, according to physical and biological analysts had the ability to fly. This Homo-Avium, however died from a rock that fell from the ceiling of the cave he lived in, and broke his skull. Without that rock, as the poet said, “Humans could have flown!”’
Oh, man, not that neighbor again. Can I have just one good night sleep? Every morning with his workout. STOP! Enough. I can’t take it anymore. The pillow doesn’t help either. I’m so tired. Bzzz… Where is that damn clock? Oh, there. Finally, some quiet. Wait a minute, what time is it? Shit, I’m late, again. Quickly shower, clothes. I’ll try the new tie Angela gave me. It’s so ugly, but it fits the mood. Breakfast? Nah, I’ll skip it and have something at the office. Suitcase and I’m ready. Front door mirror: Looking good, handsome, as always. The elevator is at ground level. Damn, it will take it hours to get here. Of, course it goes up to pick those scumbags from upstairs. Finally, crowded. I hate it. Twenty seventh floor. No, don’t stop we’re full. No room for you, fatty. Come on, I’m late. At last. Cough. Man, the smog is worst than ever today. I must be getting asthma or worse. Look at that chick, no time, important meeting at the office.
‘Hi, Gen, anything new? Yes? Sorry, don’t have the time, the bigshots are waiting. Maybe at lunch.’ She wants me; I can see it in her eyes. Not a full elevator, again. ‘Fifteenth floor, please.’ Did someone just fart in here? It stinks. Thank god I’m out. ‘Yes, yes, I know. I overslept. Good morning, sir. Yes, of course, sir. Well, bla, bla, bla… Yes, sir. Certainly, sir. Never again, sir. Thank you, sir. Good day, sir.’ What a day. Mail: Not important, not important, less important. Maybe it’s time I begin my work. Happy and joy. File no. 6597/a.25…
Lunch, favorite time of the day. Let’s see if Gen is available. ‘Out?’ Well, next time. ‘George, what about lunch? I know his new place. It’s supposed to be superb. Agreed? Great.’ Elevator. ‘I heard a good one the other day…’
‘Hi, Gen, back so soon? You missed me. Maybe dinner, my place? Oh, your husband wouldn’t approve? I won’t tell him/ Just kidding, Gen, bye. George, that way, across the street. Listen, I had this great idea.’ Car, head. Lights out
- Late, again. What’s this time?
- I forgot my entry card. Those guards almost fried my brains out. As if they didn’t know me.
- They have regs. You know that. After all, this IS a maximum-security building.
- I know, don’t start lecturing to me again. I understand our job is top secret and dangerous, but come on, a little decency.
- Rule no one: No slacking when germs are concerned. I told you to memorize those rules.
- I thought you were kidding. Geese, what’s next, a pop quiz?
- Tomorrow morning. Just kidding. Listen, I’ve already began some interesting cross breeding between Mr. E and Mr. K. It’s in the incubator as we speak.
- That’s a little risky, isn’t it? You know what Mr. E did last time when you crossed it with anything else. Remember? Big no-no from upstairs.
- Of course, but they don’t know about this one. And, anyhow, it’s controlled this time. I’ve put it with last generation Deathdom. So relax.
- Wait a minute. Which Mr. K have you put, Andy or Joe?
- I don’t recall. The green colony. The one that was in your fridge.
- Oh, my god. Do you know what you’ve done? I’ve bred Andy to resist Deathdom. Especially the last generation. It’s a special phage I’ve constructed as a counter warfare weapon. Shit, how long has it been there?
- Damn, wait up. You have to tell me these things. If Mr. E conjugates with Andy K. we’re done for. Nothing can stop it, can it?
- Nothing that is known to the human race. Why are you grinning?
- ‘The end of civilization as we know it’ just came to my mind.
- It isn’t funny, it’s real. Here's the incubator. Wait a minute. It’s not working.
- Shit, I’ve forgot to turn it on. Destroy it, now, before it’s too late…
- Do you think we’re safe?
- It takes these bacteria about two hours to kill an adult man. We’ll wait and see…